A couple
days ago, at the celebration of International Women’s Day in my office, I was
asking a few women colleagues with a question, “when did you realize at the
very first time that you encounter inequality or discrimination issue(s)
because you are a woman?” Not surprising the answer shows that as a woman we
got unequal opportunity that often because of gender, something that we never
chose before coming to the world.
In my
personal life, my first realization is when I was eleven and I was quite fed up
with my parents who always told me, “because you are a woman, you have to….” One
of the regular reminders was every Sunday morning years back, when my mom, me
and my sister had to get up earlier to prepare food, to sweep floor, to mop and
other domestic works while my dad and brothers didn’t have to do it. Eventually,
at a point I was quite angry and questioning why, I complained to my mother and
then my older brother responded, “you’re running a feminist blood.” He said neutrally.
Being told about
anything that associated by “because you are a woman” is one of my pet peeves –
especially when it is something related to decision of life. But the little me
didn’t know anything about the history that bringing up the gender inequality
we encountered today. The point is, even without knowing the history behind it,
little me could feel the uncomfortable of the discrimination.
A constant annoying
preaching about women will always be here and there. Still remember, the time
when I had tiring debates with my ex-boss regarding gender equality which always
ended up dogmatically with quran verses or hadist which support his statement
that “women are second class citizen” and his “complain to God then” deadly
sentence. And he stated the closing statement with, “feminists will never reach
their goal and because it is already a fate”. #misogynyalert
My aunt is
no different. In a family gathering, we had a chat. After asking about my job,
she replied, “but don’t forget about your nature, you have to serve your future
husband, that your place is also in the kitchen”. My heart was pounding at that
time – trying not too reactive. #internalisedpatriarchyalert
And a lot
more on gender-based discrimination words that I’ve heard.
Being a woman is a struggle. Yet being a
woman makes me question a lot which also drives me to learn a lot. Being a
woman encourages me to be sensible and to strive the life. Being a woman opens
my eyes that we are born to be kind. Basically, being a woman is being a human
yet with tackling the constant battle of internalised patriarchy that might run
within my own blood and people arounds’ blood.
Gladly,
along the time, I met fellow women that has been inspiring in their way speaking
up and taking action on gender equality and women empowerment. I hope the energy
transferred to each other to live the life with the least or even without the
touch of injustice created by long-lived patriarchy – to make sure the journey
women go through are not contained any gender discrimination. Thus, we are all
have equal opportunity.
For fellow
women I love, happy international women day, let’s fill the gap of the
inequality together!
